A tank made me pee
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In 2009 I was on my third and final tour as a guardsman. We were running convoy security out of Taji and I was the rabbit truck. By this time a lot of the area was safer, comparatively speaking, but Sadr City, that little gem of a shithole outside of Baghdad was still somewhere someone would huck a grenade from time to time. Never happened to my unit, but we all got the same Intel briefings. We had a common mission to escort a KBR group out of Taji that had barriers, swing by FOB War Eagle (I think, could have been falcon, some fucking bird named tiny ass outpost) where I would separate from the group, pick up a civilian crane with an local in it, go back to the convoy and go unload barriers. It was boring and it sucked. This time,we were headed out by Sadr City and there was an armor unit guarding the MSR. I enlisted as an m1a1 armor crewman, shot my table 8, and have a dear appreciation for why you do not fuck with MBTs. The mission drags, and finally we're set to go. Except there's a tank blocking the on ramp pulling over watch. Awesome. Try to raise him on comms. Nope. Platoon freq, area freq, nothing. I didn't wanna attempt contact too much because comms are monitored and I didn't want to blue falcon someone for anything, and I'd already figured it out. These motherfuckers passed out. I'm no one to judge, so I'll leave all that by the wayside, except that the TCs hatch was open. I had an issue. See on the front of my MRAP was a device that broadcast microwaves and jammed some other shit, I was the test run for some reason. I wasnt supposed to put it near friendly units while activated because of what it emitted. Fucking thing kept me from being able to raise my rhino and caused an argunent at every. Fucking. Gate. And got me stopped on poat for not having my rhino up. I digress. But i realllllly fucking hated the calligo (what they called it, could be an acronym or horribly misspelled but if anyone looks let me know please) So now i cant even get close enough to honk. I had to dismount and approach. Awesome. So i get out, and walk up, staying about ten feet back, and start picking up the chem lights on the ground. My third toss went into the TC hatch, and that turrett WHIPPED around and was pointed right at me. Thats when i peed. Not a lot, not soaking in ammonia level, but an undeniable level. Anyone who has worked with tanks understands how much faster they are at some things than you would imagine. If that TC had engaged I would have seen a flash of light, maybe, and then my truck would be gone too because it was 30 feet behind me. There's no cool ending here, the TC slowly rose out of the hatch and i asked him to move and he did and we left. My Gunner and Driver thought we were dead and never forgave me for that though.
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