A great night at the constable bar, and other short stories
Due to Executive Order 12958 1.6 ¶d-6. - You are warned for later in the story.
So back in 2001, i was a constable at the signals company, that had a Dolphin as their logo.
At that time, a telephone company also had a dolphin as their logo, so we were called "The Sonofon Company"
Our sister company, had an ice bear as their logo and they had a physical mascott. (this will come up in a later story further down.)
So anyways, i rarely went out drinking. But this fateful night, i decided to go down to the local watering hole inside our garrison. The great Constable bar.
Now we had recently gotten this tall, clean shaven head, big guy into our company, and many thought he was a tough guy, and looked somewhat up to him i think. He came from a combat arm unit before joining us.
Well he was there that fateful night. And challenged people to a "Dragoon Drink" named after his prior regiment. Which is basically i think tequila, but you turned the shot glass upside down, and only filled the small indent at the bottom.
And then you snort it up.
Well he went around, and most people did 1 with him and refused more.
And then he came to me.
Again, i'm not a drinker. But by damn i wanted to be cool.
So i matched him on the first drink.
Then again on the second drink.
And again on the third drink.
here are images to prove that the above part is actually true
(warning the following part is embellished due to the new executive order)
That's when he looked up, held out his hand, and as i held out mine, he grabbed it agressively while staring me deeply in the eyes. As his eyes sucked me in, his hands started caressing my back and as he went lower i dived right in and started caressing his clean shaven head. As his hands went lower and started >! tickling my dingleberries, i brought out the whipped cream and covered us both from head to toe, and then everyone at the bar dived in to give us a tongue bath. !<
(this is the end of the new executive order)
so after these 3 drinks, he was all like, damn you are cool, and i was accepted as part of his herd or something.. :D
But then the evening was outshined, because then one of the constables did the "Rocket man" dance. (which is pulling down your pants and swinging your penis up and down to make it slap against your stomach.)
Which again was outdone by himself later, when he did the helicopter.
And that was the end of the evening as we were kicked out of the bar for being too drunk.
But onwards to the story about our sister company. The ice bear.
We had a nice rivalry going. And one year they stole our company sign, and posted an image with men in black masks, holding it and then taking a dump on it out in the woods by a rusty tank wreck.
After we recovered it, we planned out revenge.
So we went in and stole their Ice bear.
Then we took some nice pictures with us holding it hostage, getting it drunk, and then one constable also fucked it for good measure (well he at least made a hole and quickly stuck his dick in it, but that's about it)
Save to say, that's the last time they tried doing stuff like that against us.