Disclaimer: I’m going to paraphrase some of this because it happened 20 years ago.

So there we were in formation, about to go to work. Platoon Sergeant just finished assigning everyone to their tasks for the morning, but before he dismissed us, like always… “Any questions Marines?” Now everyone knows that this is a defining moment for how the rest of your day will go. Depending on the Platoon SGT, and if he likes you, or if you bought him a round the last time you saw him at the bar, or if you are a shitbird, or… hell is the wind blowing the right direction, you may or may not be able to ask a question. And you may get an answer, or you may get reassigned to the worst possible job for the day. That’s when PFC… we will call him Texas, because that’s where he was from… shouted from the back “SGT Texas.” In case you aren’t getting it both Marines are of Hispanic descent/heritage. “What Texas?” Comes from the SGT. PFC- can I have the day off? SGT- NO! Why the hell do you think you should get the day off? PFC- it’s cinco de mayo SGT. SGT- it is? Well damn, it is. PFC- yes, SGT it is, and I believe that as a Mexican Marine I should be able to celebrate my heritage today. SGT- Texas, you’re barely Mexican, Private Puerto Rico speaks more Spanish than you do. PFC- Yo quiero Taco Bell. SGT- I’ll tell you what Texas, do you know why we celebrate cinco de mayo? PFC- It’s the day we won the war. (Spoken very confidently) SGT- nope, anyone else?

Crickets, not a sound… it was at this moment that I pondered answering. I know the answer, why not answer. But I thought it might bring more ridicule to PFC Texas, so I didn’t. But then a mistake was made. The SGT being overconfident in his knowledge of his own heritage, and wanting to show off a little…

SGT- cinco de mayo is when Santa Anna defeated the French in the battle of Pueblo… I guess nobody gets the day off.

And that’s when I realized I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t stand there and let this man flex what he didn’t have.

Echo3terminal- That’s not right SGT.

Now any Marine will tell you this is where the SGT is about to lose his shit on me. I’m a white guy with an obviously Germanic last name. But a little backstory… SGT Texas and I were PFC’s together. Lance Corporals together. Corporals together. But when he was getting promoted to SGT I was getting demoted. He and I both agreed that my demotion was bullshit, but that’s another story. (User name checks out)

SGT- what the fuck do you know about it whitey? Echo3terminal- am I gonna get the day off? SGT- if you’re right and I’m wrong I’ll give you the day off and a six pack of corona. Echo3terminal- Seguin defeated the French in Puebla… yo quiero corona with lime. Whole platoon-ooooooooooo

It was at this moment SGT Texas knew he fucked up. He just smiled and shook his head.

SGT- platoon attention. When you receive the command Lance Corporal Echo3terminal, you will report to the company office. Everyone else will proceed with assigned duties. FALLOUT!

we went to the office and the company clerk looked it up online for us. This was before smart phones and only certain people had computer privileges. The platoon commander had heard what was going on and just said, “but wait you’re not… are you Mexican?”

I got the day off and at 1700 SGT Texas helped me drink a 6 pack of corona, that he bought. We all laughed when I told him about my neighbor Mrs. Ollivedes who invited me over to a fiesta on cinco de mayo when I was a kid.