I was really doing it. I was surviving this ridiculous school and making progress and even doing well at some things (which is new for me cuz I'm kinda dopey).

One day was pretty rough and after lights out I ran into the latrine to just sorta cry it out a bit. Two battle buddies saw me in there and talked with me for a few mins and I felt much better (other dudes were in and out so plenty of people saw the scene of me crying and two guys talking with me). I went to bed and started training the next day, usual intense bullshit stuff we do there. At the end of the day, they pulled me out and told me that the commander made the decision to send me home because I wasn't in the right mindset. I guess someone reported that I was suicidal. I mean, I was frustrated, sad, missing home, exhausted, stressed, tired af... But I wasn't suicidal and I never said I was. Someone just sorta took it that way, and now that's I guess part of my record in some type of way. I'm sure it'll look great in my next promotion board packet.

So now I'm kicked out of OCS. They said because it was medical that I can re-enter the program next year. I am still not sure if I wanna do that yet. I'll give it some thought before I decide.

But I don't like how I was treated. I needed to cry, so I cried. And I felt fine the next morning. And I trained all day, no problem. I was fine. I could've easily stayed and finished this madness and I truly believe I'd be a good 2LT.

Oh well. I guess it wasn't meant to be. At least not right now.

Edit: Why y'all so mean? Jeez, talk about kicking a soldier when he's down.