Ok this is a life lesson and some advice. Please forgive my shitty NJ education.

Now, this is a story all about how My life got flipped-turned upside down And I'd like to take a minute Just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the one nutt wonder.

So I was station in the the shithole state know as California. Anyways I go to work to get the daily pass-ons before I conduct guardmount. We get a report of a runaway teenage girl. Fast forward I'm searching the paintball field on our base as I'm walking around looking for this kid. When the call comes over the radio that they found her and she's trying to run away from my Airman at the gate. As I'm running back to my vehicle I feel a sharp pain in my growing area but push through cause this kid is trying to run away again. Anyways return the kid to her parents and the rest of the night goes by with no drama. I go home shower and sleep when I wake up for my morning piss I feel this horrible pain and I look down and my right nutt is big as fuck. So I do what every man does I look at web MD. The 1st thing it said about my oversized right nutt is I got 30 minutes to get to the ER or I'm going to die. So I brush my teeth and head straight to the ER freaking out.

So I get to the ER go inside talk to the admin at the desk and they take me to back faster then normal which now has me freaking out even more. So the doc comes in and ask why I'm there I told him why he asked if he can see. So before I drop my shorts I say no homo which he didn't find to funny but it's whatever. When he sees it he like whatever but when he felt it the look on his face changed. That's when I knew something was bad. He ask when was the last time I had sex. I said a bout 2 months (the ex wife and I were over each other and I didn't want to stick my dick in her anymore) he said it could be gonorrhea. I told him if it's gonorrhea they better open another bed next to me cause I'm going to beat my ex wife's ass jokingly. So he runs some test and it's worst then gonorrhea it's ball cancer. So as he's telling me this a hot medic chick walks in to take some blood sample and what not.

As she doing that the doc is going down what the procedure will be like and ask if I had any questions. I said I have one and asked if they will replace my homie righty. The doc said yes. So I ask if I can get one with a bell and lights so girls can hear and see me cumming. Doc didn't laugh hot medic chick busted out laughing and said she would be down to see that. Anyways they remove righty the next day and I didn't get my bell with lights fake ball.

Morale of the story is check your nutts once a month or have your SO do it for you. Ball cancer sucks!