Tw: mention of sa but no details

I’m getting out next month, my terminal leave starts on Tuesday. I have the weirdest feeling about getting out. I’m really sad about it, but I had to do it because I was SA’d two years ago by someone in another squadron and had really awful leadership. I was barely hanging on, I have a baby now and I wanna be the best I can for my child. My mental health was awful and I needed to leave. But I’m feeling so sad. Like the AF is moving on without me and I wanna chase it, go back, keep moving with it. I also feel so weird of not serving anymore, not wearing the uniform. I was so proud of myself, I liked my job, but there is no way I could go back to it

How the hell does one get past this?